Former Secret Service Agent Shows You How to Find Your Voice SPEAK UP Communicate Well
This episode is brought to you by Evy's new course Becoming Bulletproof: How To Read People And Detect Deception.
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Though we all know how important communication is for literally every relationship you have, very few have taken the time to learn how to do it well. When communication is not done well, relationships suffer, individuals suffer and the consequences can be high stakes.
If there’s any chance of your communication needing improvement, you’re in the right place. Grab and pen and paper, you’ll want to take notes and add this to your favorite playlist to listen to again. Evy Poumpouras is a former secret service agent and an Unstoppable Badass, here to lay out everything you need to know about communication alongside Unstoppable Badass, Lisa Bilyeu. Spoiler Alert! This is about you, and the tactics you can learn and practice to improve your communication skills to build rapport. It’s not about what the other person should do.
Unstoppable Women of Impact Tips:
Tell the other person exactly what you’re looking for
Evy’s Strategies for Building Rapport
Acceptance: recognize what is being said without trying to change or protest it.
Adaptability: able to adjust to new conditions or circumstances.
Autonomy: having the capacity to make informed and un coerced decisions.
Empathy: ability to see from the other person’s perspective
Unstoppable Communication Questions to Ask:
Who are you speaking to?
Who is that person?
How do I speak to this person?
What is your goal and what is the best way for you to achieve that goal?
Unstoppable Key Terms:
Rapport: The ability to understand and communicate with people
Mirroring: When one person imitates how the person across moves, talks or acts
Identify Based Motivation: Where perception of self motivates you to take action toward a goal
Instrumental Based Motivation: The end state is what’s motivating the person to take action
Relational Motivation: The way that two or more people are connected
Order Evy Poumpouras’ book, Becoming Bulletproof:
Build Rapport | Eva on why established rapport is a ping pong match for communication [0:45]
Strategies | 4 ways to build rapport and keep people talking and communicating [1:41]
Using Strategies | Example for using these strategies with close relationships & situations [8:07]
Building Blocks | How building rapport establishes connection, trust and faith [10:23]
Close Relationships | Handling rapport and these strategies with close family & friends [13:28]
Being Adaptable | Not being so rigid, allowing people the space y build rapport [16:15]
Lisa’s Rapport | Lisa shares behind the scenes ways that she builds rapport with guests [17:51]
Get In Synch | Identity motivation vs instrumental motivation & getting to cooperation [19:26]
Cooperative Zone | When you find a way to move the conversation forward together [26:53]
Motivation | Eva explains how to use base motivations to get in synch and adapt [33:20]
Identity Vs. Instrumental | Lisa and Eva showing you how it’s done [34:03]
Choose Your Words Thoughtfully | Define words that you use, comply vs. resist [35:40]
‘No’ | Improving ways that you say no with compassion and without being harsh [41:38]
‘Sorry’ | Ways that language diminishes you when you apologize for everything [43:13]
Word Play | How words land with people: powerful, shut people down, provoke reaction [46:25]
Word Challenge | Lisa & Eva share how different words make them feel [47:13]
“When it comes to communication, rapport is king. When you have rapport you have trust. When you have trust you have cooperation.” Evy Poumpouras [0:48]
“I have someone who’s giving me no trust, and I want to move that relationship forward, I do it through rapport.” Evy Poumpouras [8:00]
“People don’t remember what you say to them, what people remember is how you make them feel.” Evy Poumpouras [26:23]
“Rather than me trying to change you, I’m going to adapt to you.” Evy Poumpouras [29:23]
“Language can also diminish you and there are some people who their language is littered with, ‘I’m sorry’ and I think when you use that language when it lands on that person, it lands in a negative way for you.” Evy Poumpouras [43:39]
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